Recently I've made the decision to cancel my Facebook account.
I know. (Gasp!)
It may take some getting used to. A lot of different things went into influencing this decision. Are you curious what they are?
No?
Oh well, I'm going to tell you anyway.
To be fair, I am going to miss a few things:
The one-stop, quick briefing of status updates,
the new pictures,
and
finding someone with whom I've lost contact (with whom I'd like to re-establish contact - these are not always mutually inclusive). :)
What I will not miss:
1. The farmville, mafia wars, and the other various gardening and fishing games. And the near-constant bombardment of invitations to join one thing or another.
2. Receiving “friend” requests from someone you've never even seen or met in actual life. I'm not really interested in cultivating a brand new relationship over the internet. I'm 30, it might be time to grow up!
3. The feeling of not knowing who or what has access to my information, and if it's secure or not.
But the biggest reason is probably the simplest:
4. It's not personal. It doesn't feel real. I don't want to accidentally feel connected to someone because I've read their status update but I haven't actually talked to them in a real, live conversation. I want to feel connected to someone because we regularly talk on the phone or in email that is meant for just our relationship. I want to have one-on-one personal relationships. I don't want what I do know about what's going on with someone to be in the format of a general, public announcement. Which leads me to another pet peeve with Facebook – those super vague status updates that don't really tell you anything about anything. What's the point in posting anything if it only makes you feel confused or at a loss? I don't know. It all just seems false to me. And I don't like it. Facebook allows for a false sense of connection. I want my connections to feel real and I want some actual relating happening in my relationships!
Yes, Facebook is good for being lazy - but that's honestly one of the reasons I have canceled it. I want to live my life with more purpose and not just accidentally keep up with friends. It's too easy to feel a false sense of connection - I want real connections!
I do realize that many people manage to personalize their facebook “friendships” but to me I can't get past the absence of feeling anything real or of substance on the website. I would rather give up the convenience of having superficial relationships with many people and focus on having meaningful and substantial relationships with a few through the good, old fashioned means of email, telephone, letters sent through the mail, and maybe even a few care packages! I want to pursue and build my relationships on purpose! Not by accident or in such an empty public forum.
I realize it'll be more of a challenge to keep in touch one by one, by I am willing to bet that I will feel a significant difference in the quality of my relationships. Here's to connecting on purpose!
2 comments:
I've thought about letting go my self just because it takes up so much time, but I have been able to connect in a few real ways with people and it has brought me happiness- at least smiles.
The other silly stuff is just inconveniences that are quick clicks of a NO.
But I understand your need for connections. I went through about 5 years of letters piled up in a big box conference weekend. Actually i didn't make it through them all, but it was amazing to me to see which ones I threw away and which one I kept. I love those letters- they are proof in hand of connections, of relationships that are important enough to take the time to write a letter to that person and they in turn show me that I'm important enough to write back to. These are things the younger generations will not have at all. Your can't print out FB or text messages or cell phone calls. No proof! It's a sad thing!
I've gone back and forth with many of the same feelings as you, and after reading this it makes me want to take the plunge, too. There is something about keeping some aspect of my life a mystery to the general public that is really appealing to me. I don't necessarily want everyone to know everything about me, or even to think that they do just because we're friends on facebook. It's such a one-dimensional view of people. Anyway, you've got me thinking about it more now, which is a good thing.
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