27 September 2010

Audrey Concurs

One of the reasons my sister, Megan, has been on my mind a lot recently has to do with Audrey. See, each of the times that I have traveled to see Megan in the last few years, since Audrey was born, she has come with me.... Except for this most recent trip, at the beginning of September. It was just a very quick over-the-weekend trip so it was just me and The Lucas. Audrey and Adam had a daddy-daughter weekend at home. It was a long weekend for all of us, I think. It was harder than I thought to be away from her (it was the only time I've been away from her besides when I was in the hospital with Luke). It was especially hard to hear that Audrey was having a hard time missing me - not eating or sleeping or talking as much as usual. Even though she understood that I was on a short trip, it took an emotional toll on her. What was funny and so cute, was after three and a half days of being gone, the first thing that Audrey said to me when they came to pick Luke and I up at the airport was: "Audgie fly on airplane, too? See Meg too?" She was ready to get on a plane and go right then. And really, it's only fair! (I would've been ready to go back too, for the record.)

Since then, she has continued to make the request. It will come completely out of the blue. We will be going about our day and Audrey will suddenly say:

"Audgie fly on airplane."

And I will say: "Where do you want to fly?"

She will say: "See Megan."

Then I will say: "When do you want to go?"

And she will say: "When sun comes."

It couldn't be more clear. Really. But then, sadly, I will have to explain to her that we aren't going to be able to go see Megan in the morning... but that hopefully we'll be able to go soon.

Apparently, Audrey gets specifically lonely for Megan too. Almost as often as she gets specifically lonely for her cousin, Talea... but she's only a couple of hours' drive away so those trips are much more frequent and manageable!

26 September 2010

Specifically Lonely

This is probably going to sound weird. But I guess that's never stopped me before from sharing things... so here it goes.

I really love my life.

I do.

I have been abundantly blessed: with a great husband who is also my best friend and we have a ton of fun together. We have a lot in common but there are also some differences and those differences serve to counterbalance and we keep each other at a good equilibrium. We have a really good marriage and I am so thankful for the understanding and harmony that exists between us.

I also have two amazing babies who are rapidly turning into actual little children. It's amazing! Audrey and Luke fill our home and our lives with so much joy and laughter (as well as the occasional tantrum). They are so much fun (even with the occasional tantrum).

The four of us have so much fun together. We have a happy home and we are all healthy and things are awesome. Most days I am thankful to the point of being overwhelmed at my good fortune. I am one lucky girl.

There are other days, though, when instead of being thankful for what I do have, I wish for something more. On these days I feel lonely. And not just lonely because I'm alone (because I'm not, I have my babies and friends and family around). On these days I feel lonely for someone in particular.

I feel specifically lonely. I feel lonely for my sister, Megan. Specifically.

It's like there is a Megan shaped hole in my life on these days. An emptiness that only she can fill. And the only remedy is to call her and talk and vent and gossip and laugh and cry together for a few minutes - to help blur the edges of the Megan shaped hole so the pain of the specifically lonely feeling can dull.

And then I can return to the happy-to-be-me feeling that is typical of my life.

I am the youngest of eight and while I do have moments when I miss, and am lonely for, my other siblings, there are just more moments that I miss Megan. See, she is the seventh of eight, so she's the one who is the closest in age to me. She is the one who I had to share a room with for the first 15 years of my life. She is the one who I fought with the most. She is the one who I laughed with the most. She is the one who I cried with the most. She is the one who I grew up with. She is the one who I shared secrets with. And she is still the one who I turn to to laugh and cry and grow and share secrets.

I was recently going through some old pictures and I found I few that are indicative of our closeness. I love this one!

As I grew up, anytime we took family pictures, my parents would always have us line up from oldest to youngest and then as we each grew older (some of us grew taller than our older siblings) they started to include the line up from tallest to shortest. This picture was taken back in the day when oldest to youngest was the same as tallest to shortest. I just love how I am leaning my head on Megan's shoulder here:

I hope Megan feels ok about me sharing this photo since it was taken soon after an unfortunate incident with a pair of scissors - which my dad had to even out - hence the boyish haircut. She looks cute in it though.

I love the hand holding pictures! What I'd like to know is if we were just naturally hold hands of our own free will and choice or if our parents told us to for the picture! Whatever the reason, it's cute.

Being sisters so close in age and sharing a room, made for more than our fair share of fighting and drama during our childhood... much of it instigated and exasperated by me, I admit. I do know that when Megan left for college and then later for her mission, I became aware of just how much I missed her, how much I depended on her. This was one of those oldest to youngest line ups and when I joined the line I just couldn't sit in her spot. (Megan was on her mission at the time.) My parents told me to scoot over, to sit next to my brother, Dwight. But I said that it was Megan's spot, so I put my arm around the empty air to signify that she belonged there.

Then later, I was so glad to be able to go to Italy to pick her up. We look cute in Venice, don't you think?

Megan has been there for so many of the big, meaningful moments in my life. She came when Audrey was a little over a month old.

She surprised me by showing up when Lucas was only a couple of weeks old.

She has been there for so many other times in between, and I've tried to be there for her too. This was taken at the beginning of this month when I went to California for Megan's son, Ben's, sealing and both of her boys' blessings. It was an awesome trip. Except when we wanted to take a couple of updated "sister pictures" and our boys weren't havin' it. The minute we went out into the backyard, Luke and Ben made a beeline for the French doors and cried because they wanted to be part of the picture too.

So we had to settle for a sister picture with our cute boys. Which was good too.

I am glad we are so close. I am glad that we come to each other and depend on each other. I am glad that we can celebrate each other's joys and mourn each other's sorrows. Because that's what sisters do. That's what best friends do. And since I have a sister who doubles as my best friend, it works out really well.

17 September 2010

A Nap or a Band Aid

I've got some pretty cute kids. They both bring us a lot of joy and laughter. My daughter's name is Audrey. My son's name is Luke. I think I may have mentioned them before? Maybe?

Just in case your memory is fuzzy... here is a picture that was taken recently.

They are cute. Audrey's actually looking at the camera and Luke is doing his best James Dean impersonation... still.

Apparently, it isn't a phase. Which is ok, I think it looks good on him.

I wanted to share something else that Audrey does, so that I do not forget it. Whenever something is amiss or someone is feeling sad or hurt, Audrey will always tell me what they need. And usually it's one of two things:

A nap or a band aid.

If she sees someone crying or looking sad or dejected she will tell me they need a nap. (Even if that someone is an animated character or a real person in a movie.)

If she sees someone get hurt or fall down (no matter the seriousness of the injury) she will tell me they need a band aid.

Oh, and this also applies to herself as well. When she falls or runs into something, she tells me she needs a band aid. And she'll usually include what kind of band aid (Elmo band aid, Princess band aid, Toy Story band aid, etc.).

She's a cute kid that always knows what will help make someone feel better - she's especially good at knowing exactly what to do to make me smile or laugh

(although, admittedly, it doesn't take much with a kid like this).

03 September 2010

Our New Hybrid

We have a new hybrid!

It's totally awesome.

Which model, you ask?

Well, it's probably not what you are thinking....

You remember back when I told you that Audrey preferred showers over baths? And she was just barely over two years old? She still prefers them, but now that Lucas is old enough to hold his own in the tub we've been bathing them together. The problem: Lucas loves baths. Audrey doesn't. She still prefers a big girl shower to any kind of bath. But to have Audrey take a shower and then Luke take a bath, that's just a lot of time and water down the drain. If you will.

So I came up with a compromise. It's a hybrid. Of a bath and a shower. It's a shower-bath. Or a Bower. Or a Shath. Or something.

(Was that only funny in my house?)

See, I plug the drain and then turn on the shower so that the bath fills with water and then Luke stays near the faucet so the shower spray doesn't get him and Audrey stays at the end of the tub so the shower spray does get her. It works for everyone.

Then both Audrey and Lucas can play in the tub for as long as they'd like and they're both happy.

(Doesn't the water look cool, suspended like that?)

See what I mean about happy? That is one happy kid.

And so is that.

But now he's got more important things to do like play with the little wind up ducky that swims in the water.

Mom, can you put the camera away - I want to chew on this ducky's feet and I don't want that immortalized. No blackmail opportunities.

Haha. That's what you think! I'm keepin' tabs!